


Something Like Love

by cipherine



Series: Monsters [2]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Dark Dipper Pines, Dubious Consent, I'm tagging dubious consent just in case., M/M, Mental Health Issues, Oh god I don't even know what to tag this, Smut, You probably won't understand what's going on in here unless you've read my FF 'Monsters'!, mindscape sex, use of a safe word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-08-08 18:24:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7768408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cipherine/pseuds/cipherine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One-Shots for my fanfiction "Monsters". </p><p>I strongly recommend reading "Monsters" before these.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All Pain Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this One Shot, the second ending (Chapter 20 of 'Monsters') is canon.  
> The OS plays two years after Dipper Pines mysteriously disappeared. 
> 
> WARNING: 
> 
> This chapter contains smut and violence as well as mental abuse.

* * *

 

 

Sometimes their world was detailed and fun, almost colorful despite there being no colors at all. And sometimes it was quiet and dark, and shadows seemed to be staring at him. It depended on his mood.  
Bill was alone in the mind of Dipper Pines. 

It had been two years since the young Pines had trapped the demon in his head and forced him into a deal that had effectively ended the existence of Bill Cipher, as the world had known him.

 _Stay and obey me as long as I want you to, and in return I will never hurt you again._  
  
The demon had tried so hard to refuse, but he couldn’t leave this prison and Dipper’s mind control was too strong. The amount of suffering he had gone through before he finally gave in was something he didn’t want to remember. Bill was kinda into pain, but he really wished to forget _that_ kind of pain.  
  
After all this time, he was still unsure whether it had been a good decision to take the deal or not. He had fully become the human’s plaything, and Dipper also had full access to all of his magic abilities by letting Bill possess him. As long as he had a vessel, he was able to use magic. It was the only way they had survived on their own for this long.  
Despite everything, Bill was weirdly satisfied with the way things were now.  
After all, there was no point in feeling bad when everything was over and done with, right?  
Bill Cipher, the powerful and fearsome dream demon, was no more. Instead he was now Bill Cipher, lover and pet demon of Dipper Pines. 

One would think Dipper would have had enough at some point, but no, the human just got more and more addicted to Bill’s touch the more time they spent together. Depending on his mood, the sex was sometimes rough, sometimes almost romantic, and sometimes so messed up not even Bill’s rotten mind would’ve come up with it. Whatever it was that Dipper wanted, he happily gave it to him.  
Except for one thing. There was one thing Bill didn’t like at all, even though he was in no position to refuse any of Dipper’s wishes. It was when Dipper asked him to humiliate and hurt him with words to the point of making him cry, all while seducing and finally fucking him. Bill understood the thrill with physical pain and the way it distracted Dipper from his other pain, but why was it that the human sometimes asked him for the _other_ pain as well?

Today was one of those days. 

„Bill. I need you, now.“ 

The demon blinked as he heard the others voice echoe through the mindscape. He couldn’t see Dipper yet. But just a moment later he appeared right in front of him, gently cupping his face and pulling him down for a longing kiss. The mindscape immediately turned into Dipper’s room.  
Bill sighed with pleasure, returning the kiss just as lovingly.  
„What do you wish today?“ he whispered against Dipper’s lips.  
„Fuck me up. Badly. Emotionally, too. Please.“  
Bill hesitated. He knew he had to obey, but maybe he could at least change his mind.  
„What happened, Pine Tree?“  
  
„Bill, shut up and do it.“  
  
„Please, tell me what happened.“  
  
„I killed a man.“   
  
Bill’s eye widened.  
„Why?“ he asked, honestly surprised. Anything like killing or hurting others in order to get something they needed was usually _his_ part to play, not Dippers. 

„He was onto us. A detective maybe. I couldn’t… I wasn’t fast enough to ask you to possess me. Fuck, you didn’t even know— It happened so fast. I…“   
  
Bill pulled his arms around Dipper and held him in a tight, warm embrace.  
„It happened. It’s over now. You don’t have to punish yourself,“ he said quietly, stroking Dippers hair. 

But Dippers expression wasn’t sad, confused or anything you would expect on a young man who was shocked about his first time committing murder. His expression was empty. It was the same kind of emptiness Bill used to fear so much. It was this exact look in his eyes that told Bill that there was no way out of this. Dipper wanted it. He needed it, because he wasn’t able to feel the way he thought he was supposed to feel.  
His pain was gone, and he wanted it back. 

Bill’s eyes narrowed. 

 _No way out._  
  
His left hand, still in Dipper’s hair, yanked his head back and he started to kiss the human roughly, biting his lip in the process to make both of them taste a little blood. It was on, and now he wouldn’t stop until Dipper said the word.  
„Pine Tree, my dear… No one would touch someone as disgusting as you. No one but me, you know? Now kneel.“  
And Dipper obeyed, shivering in anticipation. Bill kept yanking on his hair, earning small whines from the other. He tilted his head and eyed his crotch for a moment to signal Dipper that he was supposed to get started already. Dipper shakily opened Bill’s belt, but before he could toss it away the demon took it in his own hands. While Dipper continued to undress him, Bill used the belt to hit the humans still clothed back, hard.  
  
Dipper cringed and cried out. Small tears formed in his eyes and he was shaking, but it didn’t stop Bill from hitting him one more time on the exact same spot. After all this time, Dipper’s screams and cries were still like music to the demon’s ears.  
„It won’t suck itself, slut.“  
Dipper bit his lower lip, then raised his arms to take Bill’s cock in both his hands, pumping him slowly and bringing it to life. The demon didn’t even make a noise when Dipper started to lick him while still working with his hands. He wasn’t supposed to give Dipper any pleasure. Not yet. His hand still firmly grabbing the others hair, he pushed into his mouth, making him gag around his dick.  
  
„You’re disappointing me, Pine Tree. I thought sucking was the only thing you were kinda good at, but seems like you can’t even do that much. Figures, as you can’t do anything on your own. Not even _live._ “  
With the last word, Bill brought the belt down on Dipper’s back one more time, making him scream out with his mouth still full. First tears fell.  
„Look at you, getting all hot from me treating you like garbage…“  
It was true. Dipper was getting hard despite the way Bill talked to him. He didn’t understand it himself, not one bit - because the things the demon said made him truly upset, and yet he was turned on.  
_You’re such a fuck up_ , he thought, _and Bill might be acting, but he’s still right.  
You know it. _

Bill kept thrusting into his mouth and Dipper made small whining noises while obediently sucking him. His eyes met Bill’s for a moment and the demon bit his lower lip so he wouldn’t moan out loud because damn, Dipper’s facial expression was heavenly. So hurt, but so needy. So sad and yet so turned on. Ready to fully submit to him, to do whatever Bill wanted. 

But then Bill stopped and yanked Dipper’s head back. Dipper was confused for a moment, but then Bill kicked him right in the chest, hard. The human cried out and fell on his back.  
„Strip,“ Bill ordered coldly.  
Dipper hesitated for a moment, shaking, but then he got up again and started to slowly undress himself.  
„Come on, Pine Tree. Give me a show.“  
There were still tears in Dipper’s eyes because the kick had really hurt, and now his cheeks turned red as he started to move more slowly and made sure that Cipher had a good view.  
Bill grinned and licked his lips. His eyes followed Dipper’s every move. The human unbuttoned his shirt incredibly teasingly and even more so when he opened his pants.  
Bill came closer, stroking Dippers cheek for a moment in a loving manner.  
„I wonder what your sister would think if she knew about all this. What a slut to your own desires you are. What you _left_ her for. You broke her heart so you could keep getting fucked by a demon. Are you proud of yourself, Sapling?“  
Dipper didn’t answer, but he seemed close to crying again.   
  
He didn’t say the word. 

„Answer me, Pine Tree. What are you?“ Bill asked, his right hand suddenly around Dipper’s neck, slowly putting pressure on it.  
Dipper gasped for air and more tears fell.  
„I’m… I’m worthless…“ he whispered.  
„And?“  
„Disgusting,“ he sobbed.  
Bill was choking him now. Dipper could barely breathe anymore.  
„And?“  
„A slut,“ Dipper coughed out, his face turning more and more red at the loss of air.  
  
Then Bill let go of his neck and threw Dipper on the ground.  
Dipper was still wearing his boxers, but other than that he was naked.  
„I’m going to fuck you on the ground today, like the little slut you are. But first you’ll fully undress and finger yourself.“  
Shame was written all over Dipper’s face. And yet he took off his boxers, revealing a throbbing erection. He was disgusted by himself, but he couldn’t help it. He laid down on his back and covered two of his fingers with saliva. Bill’s look seemed to pierce right through his soul as he started to circle his entrance and finally thrust the fingers inside him.  
Bill knelt down before him, touching his own dick as he glared down on Dipper.  
  
„You love to play the victim, don’t you? You love to make it look like you’re the poor, innocent young man, haunted by an awful and horrifying demon. You love it.“  
   
„N-no…“ Dipper finally answered, but it wasn’t the word. He was playing along. 

„Did I say you could stop fucking yourself?“, Bill asked, „And yes, you do. You love pretending that all of this is not just your own sick desires, but some kind of horrible thing that happened to you in your miserable life. The evil demon taking advantage of the poor human. Isn’t that what you’d love to be the truth? Too bad it’s the other way around. Too bad you have to _force_ me to do these things to you.“

Dipper flinched and obediently kept fucking himself on his fingers, moaning quietly.  
Bill’s look was still so cold, it made Dipper tear up when he looked at him. Cold and judging. One eye reflecting the truth.   
  
_I’m so messed up._  
_I don’t deserve to live._  
_Why am I still alive?_  
_Why did I do all these horrible things?_  
_How many more people are going to suffer because of me?_  
_Mabel… Mabel, I’m so sorry._

Dipper cried out loud, tears streaming down his face. Bill wanted to stop, but Dipper still didn’t say the word.  
„Pine Tree,“ Bill said and smiled a little, „I hate you.“ 

The words seemed to break another part of Dipper’s heart. The human seemed to be close to a total mental breakdown. And yet he wanted this to go on.  
„How badly do you want me inside you, sapling?“, the demon asked.  
„Please,“ was all Dipper answered, willingly spreading his legs.  
„Not badly enough, apparently.“  
„Please, Bill, please fuck me, I’m b-begging you…!“  
Bill grinned and rubbed his cock against Dipper’s hole.  
„Good boy.“  
He pushed inside and didn’t wait, instead he pulled back again and pushed it in right away. Dipper screamed out, more tears running all over his reddened cheeks. Bill couldn’t help himself and pulled the other into a rough kiss while still fucking him. Dipper moaned into the kiss and flinched when Bill bit his lower lip again just like before, then broke the kiss in order to attack his neck in the same way. Dipper’s entire body was shaking when Bill bit down on his neck, hard enough to make him scream.  
  
„How does it feel, Pine Tree? Acting like the victim and begging the demon you’re keeping imprisoned to fuck you? Do you hate yourself, sapling? Because you _should_.“  
Bill whispered these words into Dipper’s ear, all out of breath and getting closer and closer to climax. Dipper was sobbing.  
„I h-hate myself…“ he whined, then groaned loudly as Bill hit his sweet spot, making his vision go completely white for a second.  
„Of course you do. Everyone does,“ Bill groaned and kept thrusting into him faster and faster. So close, he was so close. Dipper’s moans and screams only stimulated him further.  
_So close. Yes…. yes…!_  
  
He came with a loud moan and a curse on his lips, slowly filling Dipper up.  
Dipper’s entire body was shaking from pleasure and pain, both physical and mental. 

Bill needed a moment to catch his breath.  
„I’ll make you come if you beg for it, slut,“ he whispered into his ear, but then he heard the word.   
  
„N-Nightmare,“ Dipper breathed out, crying even more than before.   
  
Bill immediately pulled him into a tight embrace and carefully stroked his hair.  
„I’m sorry. It’s over now. It’s okay Dipper, it’s over…“ he soothingly said, then got up from the floor and picked Dipper up, putting him to bed instead. He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked the humans cheek.  
„Pine Tree? Are you okay?“ Bill asked quietly. 

Dipper hiccuped and sobbed, but then he answered,  
„I’m o-okay… Just a bit t-too much…“  
Bill sighed in relief.  
„Bill, h-hold me please,“ Dipper cried out. He was done, and he wasn’t turned on anymore. His pain was back and it was hitting him full force. He was relieved, and at the same time absolutely miserable. He thought about how much other people would give to not feel any mental pain, but Dipper was glad that there was still sadness for him to feel. Sadness, and sometimes anger. Everything else was just gone. 

Bill held him tight, until Dipper fell asleep in the mindscape, and thus into deep sleep in the real world. 


	2. Sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHOOOOO. Look who it is, writing another chapter of Monsters :') 
> 
> I decided to write more One-shots with these two because honestly, I'm addicted to them. And by "these two" I don't just mean Dipper and Bill, I mean /my/ Dipper and Bill, and their fucked up relationship. It's so much fun to write about them and I'm sure there's many scenes I could still write, dialogues that could be explored, questions that maybe haven't been answered yet. 
> 
> So here's an all new chapter.  
> This one plays between the original 'Monsters' chapter 13 and 14.  
> Nope, no porn this time - just heartbreak.  
> Enjoy.

* * *

 

 

Bill Cipher was furious.  
Dipper Pines, the man who had trapped him inside his head not long ago, was ignoring him. And not just today. He’d been ignoring him for an entire week. And the demon was sick of it. 

He was his prisoner, but he _needed_ Dipper. 

He hated to admit it, hated it so much the thought made him want to put an end to his own existence. Not that he was able to do anything like that. He wasn’t able to do anything in here. In the mind of Dipper Pines. It was a blank space, just the way the human usually liked it. His mindscape only ever changed to different locations when they were having sex. Bill hated Dipper. He hated having sex with him. But he needed it like a goddamn drug addict. And getting himself off didn’t exactly do the trick. 

He was waiting, and waiting, and waiting.  
He had absolutely no idea what Dipper was doing, but he couldn’t wait for him to get to sleep. As much as Bill hated the human, he was lonely. Very lonely, and very bored. His existence was limited to these walls of a single persons mind, and Dipper Pines wasn’t exactly the human with the most vivid imagination in this world. In fact, his imagination _sucked_ , and his mind always ended up being a boring, blank space, or some places he could remember well.  
Places like Gravity Falls. 

Finally, he could feel Dippers presence in the mindscape.   
The human had gone to sleep. 

„I swear to whatever is holy to you stupid humans, if you ignore me today I’ll—“  
  
„You’ll what?“ Dipper asked, very much unimpressed.   
  
Bill bit his lip. 

„Well… we had a deal, right? You can’t force me to have sex with you anymore whenever you need it. So next time _you_ want something from me, I’ll just deny it I guess.“  
_Because fuck you, that’s why._

Dipper laughed quietly.  
„It’s funny that this is the best you can come up with. But honestly, I’m sorry.“ 

Bill gritted his teeth. 

„You’re what now?“ 

„I’m sorry for ignoring you. I haven’t been feeling well.“   
  
„Yeah, no shit Pine Tree,“ Bill said, rolling his eye, „But what’s different this time? Usually you’re just begging to get wrecked when you’re depressed.“  
Yes, that was usually the case. Whenever Dipper was in a depressed state, he was just all the more thirsty for Bill’s love and, of course, for sex.   
  
„I don’t know. I think it’s… worse this time.“ 

Bill didn’t get it. How could he? He had no idea about human emotions, even though he had observed them for millions of years, and even though he was familiar with every single mental disease a human could possibly have - he still didn’t understand, because he didn’t know what it was like. That is, he didn’t know until that one time Dipper had _made_ him feel what it means to have a mental breakdown. 

It was still the worst weapon the human could hold against him, and it was what Bill feared most, despite being kind of interested in it, because it was something new. And there were very few new things you could still experience after an existence of a billion years.  
Within the mindscape, and because of him being ridiculously good at controlling all of his thoughts, Dipper was able to project his emotions onto Bill. He had only done it once, because he knew how much that one time had affected Bill. And after all, Dipper loved Bill. In a messed up way, but he still did. He didn’t want to hurt him. 

„Bill… why am I like this?“ 

What a question.   
„What do you even _mean_ by that? Are you asking me why you’re suffering from several mental diseases? Natural selection, Pine Tree.“ 

„No, but… there’s more wrong with me than just that. There is _so much_ wrong with me. Why am I so attracted to anything weird and unusual? Why do I care so little about anyone, including myself? Why am I in love with a _demon_?“  
The mindscape slowly changed from a blank space to Dipper’s room, but not the one he had now, it was the attic back from Gravity Falls. Dipper let himself fall on the bed that used to be his. 

„What went wrong? _Where_ did I go wrong?“ He asked, sounding tired and sad. 

Bill couldn’t feel bad for Dipper. He could sense his sadness and despair, but he was glad that he couldn’t feel it himself. Just getting a glimpse of it was enough for the demon - he didn’t want to experience what Dipper was experiencing right now. 

„I’m not your therapist. Oh wait, right - you don’t have one,“ Bill said sarcastically. 

„I’m not in the mood for this, Bill. Keep it up and you’ll regret it.“ 

The words effectively made the demon shut his mouth. After all, he was still scared to death of the things Dipper could do to him. Not to forget that their recent deal - Dipper now being unable to force Bill into having sex - had a loophole: He could still do that if there was ‚a reason to punish him‘. In other words, Dipper was _still_ free to do whatever the fuck he wanted. How much worse could things even get for him? 

Bill leaned against the wall.  
„I want sex,“ he bluntly said.   
  
„I want comfort,“ Dipper replied.  
  
„Can’t give that to you.“ 

„You could.“ 

Bill tensed.  
„Dipper, _no_.“   


There was that horrible smile on Dipper’s face, the sad, unforgiving smile Bill feared so much.  
„Why not, Bill? They say pain should be shared, don’t they?“ 

Bill knew what Dipper was implying. If Dipper would project his emotions, his despair, sadness and the entire weight of his depression onto Bill, Bill would be able to feel all of it. If he’d feel all of it he’d understand it, and thus would be able to comfort Dipper and actually _mean_ it.  
„This is not how _sharing your pain_ works, Pine Tree. Stop it.“  
_Please_ , he added in his thoughts, a silent wish.  
His entire body was tense and he gritted his teeth. He was scared. 

„Then try to comfort me,“ Dipper said, his voice sounding cold and distant. 

Bill bit his lip. He had to obey, otherwise this would end very badly for him.  
He slowly moved to the bed and sat on the edge of it. He looked at Dipper, staring into his eyes for a moment and wondering how it was possible that there was so much despair reflected in them. He couldn’t possibly ease this despair. He was a demon. It’s not what we do.  
„Pine Tree, you know I can’t really do this. You know that I— that _most of me_ doesn’t mean it. And yet I’m… trying to tell you— always trying to tell you, that you need help and—“  
  
„That’s not what I want to hear.“ 

Bill was cut off and left confused.  
„But— you _know_ that I’m right about that!“ 

„I didn’t say it was wrong,“ Dipper said, „I said it’s not what I want to hear. I think you won’t understand until you get a glimpse of it.“ 

Bill exhaled shakily.  
„No, Dipper. Don’t do it. You always say you don’t want to… hurt me, right? Then— then don’t do it.“ 

_Please, please, please don’t do this to me. I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough, damn it!_

Dipper smiled, and Bill was unsure whether it was out of pity or because he was enjoying his fear. But Dipper wasn’t that much of a sadist. Was he?

„Come closer.“ 

Bill snorted.  
„Why don’t you just force me while you’re at it, threatening me and all?“ 

„Don’t test me, Bill. Not now…“  
  
Bill didn’t like the tone in Dipper’s voice. It meant danger for him. But he couldn’t help it, after all that happened he was still Bill fucking Cipher, and he wouldn’t shut his sarcastic big mouth just like that. It was his way of defying Dipper’s prison, even if it didn’t help him at all.   
He rolled his eyes and gave in, lying next to Dipper on the bed and pulling him into his arms, cursing himself for actually enjoying the intimacy. Well, he _was_ kinda thirsty for physical affection. 

„Alright,“ Bill said, „Now tell me what’s up. Something must have happened. And if not, it’s some kind of new mindset, some new bad thoughts your brain came up with, that made your depression go worse.“ 

„Nothing happened,“ Dipper said, „And I haven’t figured out what’s wrong yet.“ 

Sometimes it really was nothing.  
Sometimes everything hurt and there was no reason for it at all. 

„Dying would be nice.“ 

„You don’t mean that, and I know very well _why_ you don’t mean it,“ Bill muttered while he started to place soft kisses on Dipper’s neck.   
  
Why didn’t Dipper mean it?  
Because dying would mean to lose Bill.  
The demon had realized the hard way that he was the reason for Dipper to still be alive at this point. If there was a way to keep Bill with him even after death, Dipper would take it. He would never let him go. 

_Fuck._

Bill was struck with the sudden realization that it was possible for Dipper to keep him imprisoned even after death. He bit his lip.  
_Let’s hope he never finds out._  
  
„Yeah, yeah. You’re right,“ Dipper sighed, „Still, right now I don’t know how to go on. I’ve been thinking about running away. I can’t deal with my family anymore. I can’t deal with anyone that isn’t you anymore. I don’t know if the spell we put on Stanford worked out, I don’t know if we’re safe. I don’t know if my own sister is a threat. Fuck, I’m constantly nervous because of this.“ 

„How about we fake your death and run away, then?“ Bill suggested. 

Dipper was quiet, thinking.  
„I’ll keep that in mind, I guess…“ 

„Now, what is it you want to hear?“ 

Dipper tensed.  
„I… I don’t know. Tell me that things are going to be alright. Tell me that I can live on like this. Tell me that… that my love for you isn’t the worst about me.“ 

Bill narrowed his eyes.  
„Your love for me definitely isn’t the worst about you, Pine Tree. In a way I’m grateful that, even though it’s in a very messed up way, you _do_ love me. As far as I understand the human kind of love. Because y’know, for us demons it’s just about owning someone. And that means not to care about how that person might be feeling, or whether they get hurt, or understanding them at all. There’s just want. Obsession. And that’s not you. You actually care about me, most of the time. I hate my situation, I hate the things you’ve done to me, but it could be worse. _You_ could be worse.“

Dipper took a deep, shaky breath. 

„Thank you,“ he whispered. 

„Not for telling the truth,“ Bill answered and hugged Dipper a little more tightly. 

„So, in your terms, you’d want to own me?“ Dipper asked. 

„Kinda, yeah.“ 

If it just wouldn’t be more like the other way around.  
Bill sighed. 

„You do own me, in a way. I couldn’t live without you.“ 

„While I appreciate the thought, it’s still not what I really want.“ 

Dipper chuckled, but he was quickly quiet again. Bill had to admit, it was rather hard to cheer the human up today.  
What should he do? 

_Why do I care? Is it just to save myself, or do I actually care?_  

Their emotions were switching sometimes, intertwining and reflecting each other. Bill was much less of a demon already than he used to be. In fact, he’d noticed himself change for a whole while now. When did it start? Wasn’t it already before Dipper had trapped him in his head, that he had started to care a little? Disgusting. What had he become? 

Curious, that’s what. 

Now what was stronger, his curiosity or his fear? 

  
„Give me… some of it,“ Bill said. 

„What?“  
Dipper turned around to face him. His expression was still his usual tired, exhausted one, the one that clearly said how fucking done with living he was, but there was a glimpse of curiosity in there, and maybe a ray of hope. 

„Let me feel what you’re feeling. But if I say stop, you stop.“ 

Dipper smiled a little.  
„Is that a deal?“ 

Bill smirked. Now that was his language.  
„It’s a deal.“ 

One moment later, they shook on it in the middle of blue fire. 

„Why the change of mind?“ Dipper asked, staring into Bill’s golden eye, trying to find something in there that might explain what was going through the demon’s mind, „Do you actually want to help? Do you care?“ 

„I’m curious. That’s all. And if there’s a way to get you out of this state and back to your more usual self, then I’d like to know about it.“  
Half the truth.   
  
It was quiet for a whole while, but it didn’t take long for Bill to feel it.  
It way _way_ worse than the first time. 

„Fuck,“ Bill hissed, swallowing hard as he felt more than just a stinging in his heart, it felt more like fucking knifes this time, and as if someone was turning those knifes in his chest. He shivered. His head was overflowing with negative emotions and questions. He became aware of not only Dipper’s pain, but also his own. The entire despair of his situation, the questions he usually didn’t ask himself, didn’t think too much about it because there was no fucking point in thinking about how useless he was, or how pointless his life was, or how — 

„H-how… how are you not crying?!“ Bill choked out, holding back tears. 

„Used to it,“ Dipper muttered, but now that Bill mentioned it, he was close to tears as well. 

Bill tensed.  
Suddenly, he moved on top of Dipper and started to kiss him wildly. Dipper was surprised, but immediately returned the kiss. Both of them were shivering, and it didn’t take long until tears were streaming down both their faces, all while still kissing as if there wasn’t any time left they could spend with each other. Bill broke the kiss after a while, looking down on Dipper, and he saw his own tears dripping onto the humans cheeks.  
„You’re beautiful,“ he said, „And you don’t deserve this. None of it… I…“  
He meant every word of it, because he could feel what Dipper was feeling. And now that he was able to, he felt truly bad for him, as much as he felt bad for himself now.

_What a fuck-up, the two of us._

„Thank you, Bill,“ Dipper sobbed, clinging to Bill with the thought that his life depended on him, „D-don’t forget to say stop.“ 

„It’s… it’s okay, I can endure it, for now…“  
Maybe it was so much worse for Bill because it wasn’t something demons were supposed to feel. The true weight of human despair was not meant for him, and yet, there he was - accepting and almost embracing it. 

The night was quiet, but filled with tears and love.  
  
_Embrace me, all of me, until the morning comes._


End file.
